“ The coffee tastes especially
bitter today. I have been getting
less sleep
still going to bed late and waking
earlier. Summer is weighing heavy
in my veins, with all of it’s sticky
90 degree sunny days.
I want it over.
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“ Someday, somewhere — anywhere, unfailingly, you’ll find yourself, and that, and only that, can be the happiest or bitterest hour of your life.
“ The summer leaves me feeling old and wrong. It’s only in the Autumn where I can take breaths that make me want to take more breaths. This is important. I know that most of the things I am trying to do will end in total failure and disappointment. i know I will have a later life that will be bitter and full of regret. I know that many of the people I worked hard to please will let me down, as I will eventually let them down. I see that no matter what I do, I will always be solitary and somewhat tragic. But I will always enjoy the grey solemn solitude of this season that grows darker and colder, day by day.
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“ Your light is seen. Your heart is known. Your soul is cherished by more people than you might imagine. If you knew how many others have been touched in wonderful ways by you, you would be astonished. If you knew how many people feel so much for you, you would be shocked. You are far more wonderful than you think you are. Rest with that. Rest easy with that. Breathe again. You are doing fine. More than fine. Better than fine. You’re doing great. So relax. And love yourself today.
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